Who am I? Why was I born? These two questions puzzled philosophers through the ages, but they need to be answered by each individual so we aren’t depending on another person, a position or money to give us identify. When we do, then we’re terribly threatened if that dependency leaves us.
For a long time, I only identified as a wife and mother but didn’t really know myself, even though I thought I did, so I felt insecure. While I might not admit it, I lacked self-worth. One time my husband told me that someone put down others because that person was insecure, and I had difficulty believing him because she always seemed so self-assured. Perhaps he judged correctly
As I’ve grown in understanding myself, I’ve had to recognize my strengths as well as my weaknesses. Perhaps like many people, I’ve long seen my faults but not been so quick to see my strengths. Finally, that changed and now I see both. Recognizing where I need to improve enables me to do so.
The greatest factor in finding myself remains knowing that I’m a precious daughter of Most High God and that He loves me unconditionally. Even when I’m hard-headed and going the wrong direction, I’m still loved. My heavenly Father loves me like I am but enough to change the lessor parts, if I allow Him.
I can’t tell you the strength that thought gives me! Knowing I’m still loved by Daddy-God even at my worst not only wants to make me do better but gives me a deep assurance that whatever others may think of me, I’m a worthy person. Not because of my accomplishments but simply because the God of all creation loves me since Jesus Christ stood in my place as a rebel against Him when I accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord.
If we think we don’t fight against God, then we can look to see whose will we want most. Babies are born selfish. Yes, it’s necessary to cry when they need to be fed, changed or hurt, but they don’t care that they wake parents from an exhausted sleep. Little children must be taught to think of other people. Our very nature is to put ourselves first.
When I know I’m loved by Lord God Almighty, then I don’t depend on being loved by someone else. Yes, I’ve been married many years and if my husband dies first, I know I’ll grieve and miss him like I can’t imagine. But my identity no longer depends on him, though it once did. I’ll continue being the same person. If I move to another city, that would not change who I am, even though I have friends and positions in the former city I would miss.
I realize others may help me in this journey by seeing faults I don’t see, providing constructive criticism. They also may see assets I’m unaware of and help me improve those. So I’ll listen to people, praying for God’s wisdom about what to accept or reject in order to grow more into the person I yearn to become.
Learning who I am individually gives me such freedom. I don’t have to dress like someone else or try to do what another does. I don’t need to grasp things or positions in life because they don’t identify me. Yes, I might miss these if they’re removed, but I’m not lost without them. I am me with all my strengths and weaknesses. I’ll celebrate my strengths and recognize the others, changing what I can.