That God-shaped Hole

Feeling kinda down and don’t know why? Your family life is going well, your job’s OK, finances are sufficient for your needs, health is adequate. Yes, you’re not overflowing in any of these areas but things are sufficient, so then why do you still feel like something is lacking? You’re somewhat depressed without being able to understand the reason.  Let me tell you my story.

I found myself in this place in 1974. Adequate did not describe my situation; overflowing suited it better. We’d just moved into a new home in Austin, Texas from a two-bedroom, one-bath which we hadn’t yet had time to renovate to accommodate our family with four children. We’d lived there six months and had gone from a good salary to being self-employed, which is why the renovation of the house took so long. My husband got a call from a former employer to move to Austin and work there. My grandparents had lived there so I visited as a child. Our family had lived there a year before the job moved to California. Since we didn’t want to go, we moved into the small house in our hometown, which we’d previously used as a rental.

Why did I feel so lacking? I’d been seeking a closer walk with God for some time. When we moved back to the town where we’d grown up and attended my old church, I thought that would fix the problem. It didn’t. The hole followed me to Austin, even after we’d found a church for our family. Finally, I said, “God I don’t care what it takes, I want to make you Lord of my life, not only my Savior.” Suddenly joy filled me! God even gave me a song to sing.

No more emptiness. No more radio or TV all day so I didn’t feel lonely when my family went to work and school. I was free in a way I’d not known. Free of that God-shaped hole that I then realized was the Holy Spirit driving me to seek more of my heavenly Father. I spent time alone enjoying God’s presence in His word and prayer, which I hadn’t enjoyed previously. Knowing the Holy Spirit lived inside me, changing me into the person God designed me to be, gave me a new purpose in life: Something more than simply being a wife and mother, though I still delighted in those roles.

I’d been a believer in Jesus Christ since a young child and always knew my sins were forgiven and I’d go to heaven when I died. But that wasn’t enough. I needed more to complete me, to make me more like my Savior. I needed to acknowledge Jesus as my Lord, in control of all my circumstances. I needed the Holy Spirit actively working in my life, not only sealing me as being God’s child. I needed immersion in the Holy Spirit just as I’d been immersed in the water of baptism.

I can’t say I’ve continually stood on that high ground I first knew but I certainly never again felt that lacking I suffered then. I’ve had the assurance all through the years that the Holy Spirit worked in me and guided me. Salvation is only the beginning of the exciting journey God plans for us here on earth. We must continually allow the Holy Spirit to guide us and fill us with the fruit of the Spirit. The more we seek our Father and Provider, the more joy in life we find, even in the small things. No matter how old we are, God still has plans for us to fulfill; He never wants us to simply sit and wait for death. His good plans will keep us enthused about life as long as we’re on this earth.

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Jeremiah 29:12-14 – Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.

Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (All verses from New International Version.)

 

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